BP was planning pipeline to Australia

By Andrew McKenna

BP announced  overnight that at the height of their Deepwater Horizon oil spill crisis they had planned a pipeline from their stricken oil well in the Gulf of Mexico to Australia.

‘Lots of things disappear in Australia,’ a spokesperson for the company said.

‘Ronald Biggs, Skylab … Frederick Valentich … we thought the best solution to the problem was to get it out of sight and out of mind.’

The company did not say if they had consulted with the Australian government, although sources in Canberra said they were interested in the proposal.

‘Who consults any more?” a spokesperson for the PM’s office said.

‘Whether it’s refugee centres in East Timor or pipelines to Australia, soldiers on Aboriginal land, there’s no point in talking. Talking never gets anything done. It’s all about action.’